Tag

Career Seeking

Stop the Excuses. Start Life Now.

Don’t let excuses stop you from living a life in which you thrive.

If you are waiting for the opportune moment to create a life you love then you will die miserable or unfulfilled. Too often I hear twenty-somethings make excuses for not carving out their lives on their own terms. They vary from reasons such as student loans, uncertainties about what to do, or prioritizing a relationship over themselves. And this is just some of the excuses I’ve heard. This is not okay! Start life now.

You are the most important person in your life and you need to treat yourself as such. One of the ways to value you is to drop the excuses.

Start Life Now!

The opportune moment will never occur because there will always be something standing in your way. A life in which you thrive, starts when you stop letting excuses run your life. Even the smallest step towards your goals is still a step in the right direction. Start life now!

Identify your excuses or barriers.

Definitely student loans or any sort of debt can be a barrier to pursuing dreams. Trust me, this is often one of my excuses or barriers. There are times when I lament that my parents couldn’t afford to pay for my schooling. However, at the end of the day, I’m glad it’s on me because now I have to work that much harder. If it is debt/money that is holding you back then what steps can you take to get out of debt or save money? If your dreams include travelling or buying a home, try carving out the absolute minimum you can afford to save a month and put it aside. It could even be $20. The progress will be slow but once it gets rolling it can feel so good which may motivate you.

When it comes to paying off my debt, I often feel like I am staring at an insurmountable hole that I can’t climb out of. But I can get a second job and put that income towards paying off my debt. I could also reduce my spending. I know that I can do it if I stop looking at the whole picture and cheering for my small progresses (like not buying that really cute top).

What are some small steps you can take to overcome those excuses?

Sure, not knowing what you want to do is valid. But, if you keep saying that you don’t know what you want to do without experimenting or trying different things then you will stay stagnate. There are ways to explore options for yourself. One of my favourite is volunteering. Volunteer positions are often a small time commitment, in many cases add back to the community, and provide you with a way of exploring interests (volunteering is also a great way of building a resume to help with finding a job). With volunteering, it is okay to change your mind after a few months if you realize it wasn’t for you. After all, it was your free time.

Or if volunteering isn’t for you, which is fair, many universities offer both online or in person open studies. This would allow you to take a few courses without fully committing to a degree. Later, if you did find a passion, these credits could count towards a degree. If there’s something else you’ve always wanted to do, find a small way to try it out. Start life now!

Often, I find myself expecting an “Aha” moment of clarity for what my next direction will be. The trouble with this is “Aha” moments don’t always just happen organically. A lot of that clarity comes from experimentation or placing yourself in the conditions to create that “Aha.” If I have been doing the same thing for months or even years without gaining clarity, then maybe it is time for change.

What are some small steps you could take towards discovering what you want to do?

The only thing that I can say about relationships or significant others is that those people need to be supportive of you. If your significant other isn’t supporting a decision to take some time to explore what would make you thrive in life, then is this really the person that you want to spend that life with? For anyone that has been on an airplane, at the beginning of a flight they always talk about what will happen if cabin pressure drops. Air masks will descend but make sure to put your own on before helping anyone else or you may have two people down. The same goes for life. You can’t be the best support or the best help for the people you care about if you aren’t prioritizing yourself. And you aren’t prioritizing yourself if you aren’t pursuing your goals. Start life now! I know how much I’ve said it in this post but I really want the message to stick with you! Start living for you!

 Please join me in the comments with some of your barriers and brainstorm some of the small steps you could take to surmount them?

Start where you are. But you have to start life now.

How to Choose a Job During Your Quarter-Life Crisis

Questions to Ask Yourself When Struggling to Find a Job You Love

The Quarter Life Crisis happens, now how to go about choosing a job during a quarter-life crisis? That becomes the real question. Surely, there are plenty of “adults” who carry that sense of unease and dread in their stomachs for their entire adulthood. And maybe accepting that is just a natural step to adulting. But why does it have to be? We live in a society with options everywhere we turn. Which is great but choice can feel so overwhelming. Now instead of pressure to follow in our parents’ steps, the pressure is to do good, be good and succeed at everything. The beauty of a society with so many options is that you don’t have to settle or only do one thing. We have moved passed the times of finding a job, working the job for forty years, and retiring.

If what you have chosen leaves you drained of life and dreading showing up every day, then it is time for a change. There are only so many hours in a week and there is no need for you to spend so many of them unhappy. That unhappiness is a water balloon that eventually will break over into other areas of life.

For me, I worked a job for years at which I was unhappy. My mood radically changed when I went there. I stopped being the bubbly, people loving person that I am and wished that people would just stop talking to me forever. That’s not me. That is what happens when we don’t stay true to ourselves, we get lost and that adds to the feelings of crisis or discontent. Once I left there, I could feel myself becoming more alive and getting back to who I want to be.

            Is your current job taking away from who you are or who you want to be?

I’ve always dreamed big and expected big things from myself. Which leads me to ask how can I follow my dreams when I have about six of them? I’m sure I’m not alone in this. I don’t know what I want to do because I want to do too many things. Or I haven’t gained enough experience to know what I like and what I don’t like. I’m telling you, it is okay to change paths. It is okay to go through university and think you want to come out of it doing one thing but realize that you can’t actually stand it once you get elbow deep in the field. It happens to so many people. That knowledge you learned and those skills you gained will propel you forward in another direction. They are still a foundation for your talents.

It is okay to skip university and get straight to work. But either track should end in something that you love. Change is a natural part of life. Everything will change. If you have six dreams, follow them. It can even be in different little ways.

If you had asked six year-old Arielle what she wanted to be when she grew up the answer would have been, “An author who lives in New York City” (I was obsessed with Babysitter Club Books and this is where Ann M. Martin lived). Throughout my life, I kept thinking of that dream and writing it off as not practical or unachievable. But the dream never died.

            Are there any dreams or goals in your life that you’ve tried to suppress but just keep coming back? 

I went to university to prepare for what I considered a more practical career, while still thinking of this dream in the back of my mind. Now, I am working a job that I will not stay in forever but this blog is my way of working towards that dream in some small way. While this will likely never be a career, it is an outlet to help me feel like I am making some small difference or helping others through my writing and that will keep me going while I continue to hunt for a job that makes me feel happy.

 If there is, what steps can you take to make them a reality? Even if there is nothing that stands out to you, brainstorm possible ideas of things you could enjoy. I like to think of my work life in terms of one year. Is this something that I could see myself enjoying for at least one year? If after my year comes and goes, if I’m unhappy I start weighing my options for leaving. The year mark is arbitrarily chosen to help me look reliable. Some employers frown on too frequent of job changes.

Slowly, my resume becomes a list of things I hope to never do again. However, that gives me a sense of direction. I know I hate that, I know I won’t enjoy that, so I won’t even apply for it or put it on the table. I’ve been there, I’ve done that. Next challenge please.

            Is there anything on your resume that you know you would never do again or that you just absolutely hated?

Make a list of what you hated about that job. It could be anything from didn’t fit in with workplace culture, the hours, the job tasks were menial, or it just didn’t feel quite right in some way. This list can help provide guidance for what you dabble in next. “Well, I know I hate customer service. Maybe I should look for a job setting where I choose my clients or don’t have  any clients.”

I absolutely love this TedTalk. Emilie Wapnick talks about multipotenialites. What resonates with me the most about this is the idea of not having to do just one thing. I think that we may be a renaissance generation. We no longer have to limit ourselves to one choice. We can explore and dabble in so many different options. The skills you learned in one job or educational path don’t disappear. They carry over into other fields. So keep exploring. Find what you really love. Or learn to combine multiple things that you love! Another reason for my one year deadline, is I find that this is usually about the time my restlessness kicks in. I don’t think that I was meant to only follow one path.

Are there any ways that you can merge your passions together? Or even create a career you enjoy coupled with a completely different passion?

For those of you who truly do have it figured out. That is awesome! Is this something that you can enjoy and still feel challenged at years later? Then pursue it with reckless abandon.

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